I came back to what I am now considering my home in Uswetakeiyawa, the half way home and fast becoming my home in the real sense of the word in Sri Lanka. I was made to feel so welcomed by the people in the village when I went for my evening walk. Something I had not done with any consistency while in the commercial hub of the country Colombo for what has been the better part of 8 months from July 2010. It was a wonderful feeling to walk down the familiar byways and lanes, some boiling hot and the others cool covered by the branches of the trees lining the edges of the boundary of the pathways.
There were the The Dixon's, The Manoj's , the Rose Akka’s, the Nalika Nangi's and Chandana Mallies, and an assorted bunch of characters depending on their age wo affectionately refer to me as the “ Kara bu Nati Mama, Aiyah or Malli ,( The Uncle, Elder Brother or young boy with the earring, the earring is my trade mark here ). What amazes me still is the fact that some of the kids still think I am a tourist from the hotel nearby frequented by Caucasians. I generally wear track suits and running shoes and this impression is firm in their minds. They invariably try to communicate with me in English. This in spite of the fact that I am frequently seen engaged in conversations in fluent Sinhalese with their Elders. It is very appealing to me.
I have grown very fond of this environment and find myself very comfortable with the people here better than I do with those of my own background in Colombo. Village life is something I was accustomed to some extend as a child and some how other there are characteristics that are hard to find in the towns and city's in this once paradise island of mine. Although I have only been exposed to the surroundings of Mary's Lane since July 2008 I find that I see when I am walking are similarities to what I recollect of the Town , Kotahena I was born in. Children playing cricket with wooden bats and rubber balls, Parents waiting for their off springs to return after their extracurricular activities and the conversations between neighbors across the street exchanging pleasantries or complaining about the prices of food or just plane gossip about the latest scandal to hit the neighborhood. There are also the occasional violent conflicts which are the result of long standing grudges and unfortunately some of them do result in death though I have never seen any incidences I have heard so. When I amble along I notice the state of the various gardens of the houses I pass and remember the state of the vegetation from the last walk. Very comforting and enhancing that deep sense of belonging. I love it here!
The last three weeks have been one hectic rush and full of tension with the only respite being the six days I enjoyed with my mother in Singapore from the 12th to the 18th of February. That was a memorable journey for me and I will post it separately. The result of the differences of opinions about what I should be doing as understood by my Sister versus my own insistence that I needed to now advance in my life and see a definite change in my circumstances to be productive at a level that I know I can achieve. Unfortunately the whole process of trying to explain this only resulted in bitter tirades and confrontations compounded by misrepresentations of events concerning me over the last few months. My final conclusion ? The people who claim to care about me the most seemed to be my biggest impediment for genuine progress and the typecast behavior of a Bi Polar was still the single association of me and anything I had done or anything I was attempting to convey in addressing issues that had to be resolved. It was depressing to say the least and even if I say so myself I have really come along away from what I was in 2008 ! I don't know how I found the strength and ability not to relapse and keep going with headstrong determination to establish my rights and needs and with a few compromises did achieve most of what I wanted.
The decision to come back to the half way home for a while was simple. My physician has advised me and I feel the need to recharge the batteries as it were. I need to rethink my life style so that my exercise routine and yoga practice occupy prime time in my day. My energy levels are depleted and they have to be restored quickly. This is the place to achieve these objectives and I have plenty of freedom and clout to demand that the Management accommodate my requests. Basing my self here and planing action for execution would be easily accomplished rather than my dissipating energies shifting residence on a short term basis or shuttling between Colombo and here. Overall it will be comfortable and will be ideal to allow for steady progress with a lot less stress than other options available to me right now. My objectives and ambitions on where are I want to see my self by the 31st of August remain the same but the methods will be modified.
Somebody had written recently, in context of the present situation in the Middle East quoting the physicist Max Planck who said, “Scientific theories don’t change because old scientists change their minds; they change because old scientists die.” In my context I interpret it thus... “ I don't think perceptions about me are likely to change easily and god forbid I don't want my family to die because I need them to change. They after all have supported me unstintingly thus far. I will change my methods to achieve what I want and pursue my dreams with the confidence I have acquired now about my ability. I don't intend to die in the process but live instead to see the skeptics acknowledge the change !”
No comments:
Post a Comment