After the post about the Doomsday scenario the subject of dying has turned up once again. I have written elsewhere about this and only reinforce the point that I maintain as my principle to take the trouble to visit somebody when they are alive. It shows you care enough as opposed to the obligatory visit when they are dead. In any case I am not aware of attendance registers maintained by dead folks, but I may be wrong. If a relative has died then the circumstances of course would be different but there again who knows the status quo between relatives?
I hate funerals and avoid them like plague. The drama of the grieving and the sometime absurd lengths that the whole process is fraught with is something I find hard to cope with. And most of the time I find it very difficult to use the right words to express sympathy effectively. But in all situations I am faced with I do find exceptions when it matters to me.
One of the Cooks of the half way home had lost her husband a couple of day’s back who had died after suffering a heart attack. She was one of the better persons in the Institute and I genuinely felt sorry for her. But I didn’t know her husband and till I heard of his death I wasn’t aware that she had a husband who was alive! Mind you I have been here since July 2008. Nevertheless I felt obliged to pay a visit to her house when the body was brought for mourning and felt a hypocrite at the end of it all. The absurdity of the sentiments she expressed with her grief made my Serendipity laugh when I shared them with her yesterday. So much so for empathy with human suffering!
The Cooks younger Sister owns the shop where I purchase my cigarettes and the shop had been closed the last couple of days which was a quite an inconvenience and was I relieved that the funeral was last evening and the shop was open this morning when I went for my regular purchases. The Sister is very fond of me and naturally the conversation was all about her dead Brother in Law and I in my morbid curiosity had to find out all the background information which of course was freely available.
I learned all about the dead man and his fine attributes; I wonder how many of them were invented after his death? It was idle gossip on a bright Tuesday morning and was interesting in so much that here was a guy who had no record of heart problems, was just going to turn 60 in couple of months and the only known condition was blood pressure for which he was being treated for some time now. Apparently he had complained of a severe chest pain in the wee hours of the morning on that fateful day and had been rushed to the main hospital nearby.
What is astounding is the fact that he had been talking normally and walked into the ward and it was only after the Doctor had performed the ECG that it transpired he had already suffered a massive heart attack and wouldn’t survive for long. The Doctor had dispatched everybody out the room and kept only the Son next to the man and as expected the convulsions and shuddering’s followed soon and he died very quickly.
On hearing this I said a quick prayer, and I hoped that whoever the God in charge of me heard it, which echoed and requested from the all mighty to ensure that when my time was up to please ensure that I go walking talking and fall dead in a jiffy! The Sister put it very well, in Sinhala she said “Suba Marane! Apita thamai Duka”. A good death! We live with the sorrow.
