According to my friend I am the most predictable, unpredictable person she knows. I have some news for her I am the most predictable unpredictable person I know! The word that would be apt here is I am an enigma to me if that is possible. But then I do the most nuttiest things at least when I ever I get the opportunity.
To put it all in sequence after three days of doing work for the half way home, they like to call it helping them with matters relating to computers and not really working? I don't care! There is a financial reward and that fucking matters! I had decided that I was going to visit the nearby town of Wattala today and spend the day there and just explore the town. It is now a bustling commercial hub and though I have passed it so many times I cannot remember really walking around and seeing the place. It was a small town so many years ago and it is en route to the airport. It still has a road called the old Negombo road and I can vaguely remember travelling down that road when I was a kid.
I was to accompany a Resident of the half way home to his Bank and then do my work at my Bank, help him with some chores and see that he was sent back while I took off to where ever my fancy determined. Everything was arranged and the two of us left the home. It was uneventful, but I really got to know this guy for the first time. I decide to take him and the driver of our Three Wheeler to one of the traditional old fashioned tea boutiques of yester year that one stumbles upon occasionally. Tea in places like this is served with sweet condensed milk and if you have it without sugar it has a taste that is unique. While having my tea some young students from a nearby tutory came in, I presume during their morning break, for snack and soft drinks. I reminisced of the time I was a student of that age and how similar my outlook and attitude was accept to me their sense of dress was atrocious. But I guess the same would have prevailed about mine by others at that time.
Well I saw my companions back to the half way home and set off on my own to explore and seek new places to venture into as it were. I ambled in the hot sun observing the girls in particular noting what was the fashion of today while getting a fare share of inquiring looks in turn and just gazing at what was going on around me, in short just soaking the atmosphere. I was passing a huge supermarket and decide to go in and and have a look see. I went in,flirted with a counter girl, enjoyed the air conditioned comfort, had a cappuccino and noted with amusement that the aisle marked Baby Products had gent’s ties on display. Reasonably priced!
It was almost lunch time so I decided to cross the road to the restaurant I had decided to have my lunch. Level crossings in Sri Lanka are a night mare for even people who use them daily. I had just returned from Singapore where crossing the street is a walk in the park. I came to the faded zebra crossing and for a moment I panicked! The traffic was horrendous and there were all kinds of vehicles around the crossing, some were on it, and there were huge trucks belching black fumes and honking away, not to mention assorted vehicles weaving in and out of the area designated for pedestrians. I considered hopping into a three wheeler and getting across that way?? I think it was just a fleeting thought, when something happened. The next thing I knew I had set out dodging bumpers and with my hand indicating my intention to oncoming traffic and was at the divider of the road. I paused took a deep breath and crossed to the other side. I had done it! Of course my legs were kinda weak but I took another deep breath and walked to a sidewalk fruit juice stall. I sat gingerly and reached for a cigarette. You are not supposed to smoke in public places but there were no cops around. I had a coke and smile after about five minutes.
The restaurant was just a block away and I walked to it and sat down in air-conditioned comfort. The meal was excellent and I enjoyed the service, had a chat with the guy serving me while he gave me the run down on what was available including the VIP lounge on the second floor that allowed smoking. The prices were pretty reasonable and I enjoyed myself thoroughly. I suddenly decided, let me get back to the village and go to the beach. So I paid up, got to the street and then it struck me, I hadn't been in bus for so long and I had been wanting to do so for some time now. Why not today? The bus stop was close by, I knew the route number and I was aware that one comes by every half hour and it would be drop me at top of the road leading to the half way home. So bus it was goanna be!
The bus came by and I got in from the back clutching my duffle bag with my hand reaching out for the overhead railing when the bus took off like a missile. I cant remember how I grabbed the railing overhead but I had and froze gripping on to it and somehow other grabbing the same railing with my other hand. I was just about six inches away from the entrance to the bus. My heart literally stopped! The bus came to a screeching halt and just gave me enough time to move a foot or so forward. The bus turned to the left and from then on I was hanging on for dear life! I can’t explain the barrage of emotions and extent of fear that gripped me. I never knew this combination existed. All I could think was fuck this is a baaaad idea! I gripped the railing so hard that my nails were biting into my palms. The pain was intense but there was no way I was going to let go. The bus had turned into the road that leads to the junction at the Negombo Canal. The road we were travelling on, breaking all speed records, at least to me, is not very wide and I am very familiar with the terrain. I have driven fast in my time, clocking one hour bridge to bridge Colombo to Kandy but this Driver was a league of his own. The way he manipulated the medium size bus along this road was unbelievable! He was blaring his horn and even in my shell shocked state I was wondering how on earth the other passengers were quite comfortably swaying with this roller coaster and some were old folks!!! If there was anything I was sure was I was insane to have tried this bloody stunt.
I was seeing the inside of a bus all by myself after twenty nine odd years and I used to give my mother heart attacks when I used to run and jump onto moving buses without thinking twice. But that was another dimension and another time. In all this turmoil the Conductor comes along and asks for the ticket money. I told him is Sinhala “ Condosthara Mahathaya pena nadda mama wevulanawa mata Sali ganda vidiyak ne, kakule abadayak” Transalation “ Mr. Conductor can’t you see I am trembling I can’t take the money out now I have a problem with my legs” This guys was a class act! He hollered to the guy sitting near me demanding that he vacate the seat and gives it to me while announcing to all in the bus that I was a disabled person! The seated passenger meekly got up and very gallantly helped me to the seat. I wasn't lying, a minute more and my legs would have given away. I sat down breathing a sigh of relief as the conductor inquired as to where I was getting down and assured me he will come later for the money and drop me off safely.
The Driver took us to the junction in exactly seven minutes and thirty three seconds. I have been down this road using various other forms of transport and even in light traffic it takes about twenty to thirty minutes. We turned off into the road adjoining the canal bank. The bus then waits a good ten minutes and suddenly we are now in the hands of the Winner of the Annual All Island Good Driver Competition, who's only ambition is to ensure that his passengers enjoy the scenic view of the dirty canal! I was curious as why the suicidal drive? It turned out that if the bus doesn’t reach the junction at its allotted time the Owner gets fined! I was enjoying the the ride now and glanced at the people who use public transport. It was a mixture of the highly fashion conscious youngsters, smartly dressed men and women and some ladies who were very elegantly attired. There were an assorted bunch of both sexes who looked like slobs and a few romantics thrown in for good measure. The only experience that I found irritating was a Woman who shoved her crotch against my shoulder. But this is public transport and the next time who knows who will be shoving what at whom! Fortunately she wasn’t tall and seat wasn’t meant for a midget.
The Conductor collected his money, I thought it was twenty rupees but it was eighteen and he judiciously returned the balance and saw me off the bus as promised. I made my way to the shop I purchase cigarettes from and sat down. I tried to lite up but my hands were shaking so much I couldn’t. It took me a good half hour to lite a cigarette and took it two of them before I could stand up and walk.
The rest of the day I spent at the beach and came back to the home late in the evening. I learned something and am I glad I did what I did. I proved to myself that my confidence in myself and the determination not to wait but do it when it should be done without postponing is still there. I know if I didn’t do what I did when the impulse came upon me I probably wouldn't have done it at all. It has also given me the right motivation to put the effort on my fitness and be focused so that in the shortest possible time I regain my overall body condition so that a swaying bus for one is a natural for me.
As my friend puts it I am like a child and she is so right. I'm learning not the new but the old tricks that I have forgotten and like a child I am enjoying the experience and reveling in it.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
Revolutions
The dictionary definition of a political revolution is the overthrow or an attempt to do so of a government by it's own people. It is usually associated with violence and generally caused by the venting of the frustration of a long suffering people who have been betrayed repeatedly by the state. Generally the leaders of such movements are charismatic and attract the young who are dissolution and genuinely seek change. The state invariably uses unimaginable brute force to suppress such expression and in some cases with success that inevitably has the tactical backing of other regional players or vice versa which ends up by the downfall of the government. The end result is very little change but definitely a more unstable and hostile environment which deteriorates into further oppression who ever the victor and the people, are always, to use the politically correct buzz word, end up as collateral damage and the incorrect word screwed right royally ! There are two other words that define a revolution one is technical , an object that moves around another at an equidistant in a circle and the other Cabal implying a group of plotters with an intent to overthrow a government.
I am yet to see a revolution that ended up in a just society that is completely free of oppression or for that matter any that is. There is always some degree of state intervention in some insidious form or the other. Of course the West is probably an example of at least the trappings of functioning democracies and the checks and balances ensure that fair play is the norm and not the exception. But there are the instances where the system fucks up. But fortunately at least to the extent I am aware of they are few and far between. The USA was always associated with justice and so are the others but invariably what they don't or can't do at home they do with a vengeance elsewhere.
I guess it's something to do with the brain composition of these Revolutionaries. Something happens when they are in power and they tend to forget why they wanted to fight in the first place. If the level of violence in achieving their goals is high the intensity with which they suppress dissent within their own rank and file and by extension the very people they represent intensifies proportionately. The I can't do no wrong mentality becomes a truth and a monkey wrench gets chucked into the gears. The mistrust of those who may voice genuine concerns becomes a threat and the elimination process starts and it is not very long before the rot sets in. They don't see that once the job is done it is time to let go and allow normalcy and decency to set in so that the social order quickly stabilizes and the purpose of change is not compromised. Instead of doing just that they end up by consolidating their power and transform themselves to the spitting image of what they despised. The irony of it is if and when these despots do get thrown out the song and dance they make about how they have sacrificed their entire life serving the people and how ungrateful everybody is and how gladly they would have done so long time ago if only the people had a genuine alternative to ensure the peace prosperity and happiness that was his or her legacy. Of course the size of their personal fortune amassed doing this service for the people and the suffering imposed on the people are the prize for freedom that so many sacrificed their lives for !!! To get closer home now.
All three definitions are very relevant to Sri Lanka we had two attempts to overthrow the government by the JVP one in 1971 and the other during the period 1987 to 1989. Both were unsuccessful and in the first the force deployed by the state to suppress the JVP was shocking. The official figures was a hand full of the forces as opposed to 15,000 dead. I wonder what the reality was. The one of 1987 to 1989 was the worst. The violence unleashed by both participants in this so called struggle for freedom by one and in the cause of defending the Motherland by the other was unbelievable. I am not aware of any figures but I used to travel quite frequently to some of the hot spots of that time and have witnessed the most gruesome mutilations of the human body that only a genuine state of the art psychopath could have conjured. Those images still haunt me.
The other freedom fighter with a different cause, that of liberating his people from the Sinhalese Racist Regime, ( his words not mine ) was of a class of his own. Not only was he the most feared terrorist in the world but had the Sri Lankan Government on it's knees. He probably would have realized his dream of a separate state had his ego not overtaken his brilliance in holding on to a big chunk of the Island for such a long time and not quickly transforming that into a workable solution that would have ensured that he died peacefully with military honors or all the tapestry of royalty rather than being hunted like a dog and shot dead trying to surrender. So much for the freedom fighter who demanded fanatical loyalty to the extent that his cadre commit suicide rather than fall into Sinhala hands.
The tragedy that is unfortunate in all these conflicts is the death toll and the effect on the people and the psychological trauma it has had on the nation and the scars that will take a long time to heal. An entire generation has known only conflict and the new will not have the time or skills to cater to the headaches of the baggage that the older will be carrying. They will have there own problems to worry about. Unfortunately the Victor has not seen the responsibility or the need to heal these wounds and quickly bridge these gaps in the social system and look at political solutions and find genuine techniques for a a durable answer. History has this nasty habit of being repetitive and as any casual student of the subject will realize the sequel is far more bloodier than the preceding release. Unfortunately in Sri Lanka we rewrite history to suite the present political expediences rather than basing it on facts. So the books are already churning out the revised edition for consumption by the population at large.
The other two definitions are appropriate and worthwhile contemplating. We have come a full circle and outwardly everything seems back to normal, or is it ? It started at the same point and has the situation that set the ball rolling changed. ? The victor is riding high but it is then that the fall is very nasty, the vanquished are brow beaten and submissive and that it is when they renew and are the most dangerous. The Cabal ( in Sinhala it means Junk fit to be thrown out ) is dead and their memory will not be of any significance in the immediate future. The issues haven’t changed and the wound has not healed the infection is still there. On the 4th of February 2011 the Democratic Socialistic Republic of Sri Lanka Celebrated 63 years of independence. Even at this age we have still not learned from our mistakes !
I am yet to see a revolution that ended up in a just society that is completely free of oppression or for that matter any that is. There is always some degree of state intervention in some insidious form or the other. Of course the West is probably an example of at least the trappings of functioning democracies and the checks and balances ensure that fair play is the norm and not the exception. But there are the instances where the system fucks up. But fortunately at least to the extent I am aware of they are few and far between. The USA was always associated with justice and so are the others but invariably what they don't or can't do at home they do with a vengeance elsewhere.
I guess it's something to do with the brain composition of these Revolutionaries. Something happens when they are in power and they tend to forget why they wanted to fight in the first place. If the level of violence in achieving their goals is high the intensity with which they suppress dissent within their own rank and file and by extension the very people they represent intensifies proportionately. The I can't do no wrong mentality becomes a truth and a monkey wrench gets chucked into the gears. The mistrust of those who may voice genuine concerns becomes a threat and the elimination process starts and it is not very long before the rot sets in. They don't see that once the job is done it is time to let go and allow normalcy and decency to set in so that the social order quickly stabilizes and the purpose of change is not compromised. Instead of doing just that they end up by consolidating their power and transform themselves to the spitting image of what they despised. The irony of it is if and when these despots do get thrown out the song and dance they make about how they have sacrificed their entire life serving the people and how ungrateful everybody is and how gladly they would have done so long time ago if only the people had a genuine alternative to ensure the peace prosperity and happiness that was his or her legacy. Of course the size of their personal fortune amassed doing this service for the people and the suffering imposed on the people are the prize for freedom that so many sacrificed their lives for !!! To get closer home now.
All three definitions are very relevant to Sri Lanka we had two attempts to overthrow the government by the JVP one in 1971 and the other during the period 1987 to 1989. Both were unsuccessful and in the first the force deployed by the state to suppress the JVP was shocking. The official figures was a hand full of the forces as opposed to 15,000 dead. I wonder what the reality was. The one of 1987 to 1989 was the worst. The violence unleashed by both participants in this so called struggle for freedom by one and in the cause of defending the Motherland by the other was unbelievable. I am not aware of any figures but I used to travel quite frequently to some of the hot spots of that time and have witnessed the most gruesome mutilations of the human body that only a genuine state of the art psychopath could have conjured. Those images still haunt me.
The other freedom fighter with a different cause, that of liberating his people from the Sinhalese Racist Regime, ( his words not mine ) was of a class of his own. Not only was he the most feared terrorist in the world but had the Sri Lankan Government on it's knees. He probably would have realized his dream of a separate state had his ego not overtaken his brilliance in holding on to a big chunk of the Island for such a long time and not quickly transforming that into a workable solution that would have ensured that he died peacefully with military honors or all the tapestry of royalty rather than being hunted like a dog and shot dead trying to surrender. So much for the freedom fighter who demanded fanatical loyalty to the extent that his cadre commit suicide rather than fall into Sinhala hands.
The tragedy that is unfortunate in all these conflicts is the death toll and the effect on the people and the psychological trauma it has had on the nation and the scars that will take a long time to heal. An entire generation has known only conflict and the new will not have the time or skills to cater to the headaches of the baggage that the older will be carrying. They will have there own problems to worry about. Unfortunately the Victor has not seen the responsibility or the need to heal these wounds and quickly bridge these gaps in the social system and look at political solutions and find genuine techniques for a a durable answer. History has this nasty habit of being repetitive and as any casual student of the subject will realize the sequel is far more bloodier than the preceding release. Unfortunately in Sri Lanka we rewrite history to suite the present political expediences rather than basing it on facts. So the books are already churning out the revised edition for consumption by the population at large.
The other two definitions are appropriate and worthwhile contemplating. We have come a full circle and outwardly everything seems back to normal, or is it ? It started at the same point and has the situation that set the ball rolling changed. ? The victor is riding high but it is then that the fall is very nasty, the vanquished are brow beaten and submissive and that it is when they renew and are the most dangerous. The Cabal ( in Sinhala it means Junk fit to be thrown out ) is dead and their memory will not be of any significance in the immediate future. The issues haven’t changed and the wound has not healed the infection is still there. On the 4th of February 2011 the Democratic Socialistic Republic of Sri Lanka Celebrated 63 years of independence. Even at this age we have still not learned from our mistakes !
Sunday, February 27, 2011
The Metaphor and Me
Its been a while since I have sat down to write. I am back at the halfway home for one of my regular retreats I now refer to my stays here and a sequence of events triggered this thought process that I hope will help me to start writing regularly once again.
My life has been most definitely greatly and positively impacted over the last 29 odd days and our age disparity makes our relationship insane, to your average Joe. However it has meant more than any I have had as I don't seem to be able to find an obvious comparison off hand. It has been the highlight of my existence thus far and I know that I have made an impression in her life. We have been sharing thoughts and experiences and always try to find something interesting, new or controversial every time we communicate. But to the point now!
I had glanced through an article titled THE SINHABAHU METAPHOR. My cursory glance came useful for a previous posting but I had noted that I needed to read the article today and did so. The Author had written about a Sinhala king who was the Great Grandfather of the Sinhala people and uses the story as a metaphor in his analysis of the present situation in the middle east and what lessons the present rulers of Sri Lanka should keep in mind if they don't want to end up the same way! He ends that there will be a generation that has not lived under the tragedy of the last 30 years and will not care or remember about the history of the violent conflicts this country has witnessed from both sides of the divide over four decades. But they will demand justice and fair play so that their aspirations can be fulfilled. This set me thinking. My new interest does not know of the 83 riots. She is the new generation who has not seen the civil conflict of the past 30 years intimately enough to get a proper perspective , she wasn't even born during the equally bloody JVP uprising of 88, she doesn't have a clue as to how Sirimavo and Felix Dias monkeyed with the Constitution, the legal system and systematically destroyed the civil service and politicized the establishment. She doesn't yet fully grasp the subtle repressive methods that are insidiously evolving today. What she has seen is the endemic corruption so widely prevalent in the social fabric and its effect. It has yet to have a major impact on her life , but I sensed the unease already fermenting in her mind when she asked me this morning, when will a middle east happen in Sri Lanka ? At her age she should be contemplating matters regarding a bright future instead of entertaining thoughts of a bloody uprising . She is already maturing rapidly and questioning issues that she feels are contrary to her own core beliefs. Maybe the new generation is already here ? It's seems to have already started asking, at least she has !
I have over the last 40 years witnessed the major upheavals and changes of the transformation of the so called pearl of the Indian Ocean Ceylon to the ravaged mess that Sri Lanka is today. I had enjoyed ignorant bliss from the age of about the age of 6, ( 1964 )from when I can recollect instances of my life with a fair degree of accuracy. This ignorance ,with some exceptions, lasted till 1971 when I first heard about the JVP, and was warned solemnly that if anybody mentioned 5 classes to run a mile and tell the nearest cop. From 1972 onwards I slowly learned that the brand of Socialism that was practiced in Sri Lanka was as usual the worst form which is a typically Sri Lankan trait. But even that didn't have much of an impact on my life. By this time I started understanding Carl Marx and Engels and the so called virtues of the Socialistic System against the big bad Capitalistic fellows. Of course the proponents of this point of view got buggered when they witnessed like I did how Comrades Peter's and NM's betrayal not only screwed the working class but also got them thrown out of the UF government of our Ma Baker. I was impressed with the dexterity of Comrade Vasu the great Survivor who ensured that he was at all times on the right side of the divide while at the same time supporting two diametrically opposing positions. I also learned that in Socialism there is a distinction between different Socialists, some were more socialist than others and the misfits who couldn't be classified ended up dead. Somewhere during this time I called myself a Marxist and I impressed all the suckers I could find with my eloquent style and impeccable command of the English Language and the art of speaking ,( Thanks to Daphne Lords School of Speech and Drama ) and the use of terminology I didn't quite understand then and to be quite honest don’t understand even now! Everybody fell for it. I was no bloody revolutionary but liked to be different because it impressed the girls !
In spite of all this I have of course learned some valuable lessons from associating with the Ceylon Mercantile Union and Mr. Bala Tampoe who was one of the influential persons in molding a lot of my thinking and directly responsible for my acquiring some the attributes I still believe in today. I had a lot of exposure to situations early on in my life which played an important role and the collective was responsible for establishing strong values and principals that I still hold dearly. While still a student I used to actively participate with my child hood buddy in the political process that taught me a lot and the the subject of civics introduced to me in school was seen in practice. It was an interesting period and I think the 1977 general election when I first cast my vote was probably the most free and fair that I witnessed.
After 1977 I spent frequent spells abroad and had traveled widely but coincidentally been back home during crucial periods of it's history which I believe have given me a perspective, by the criteria I classify myself, which would make it unique. Firstly though I am technically identified as a Tamil in all my statutory documents, I am not ! I am a desended of an Indian Malayali Brahmin mixed with a second generation Indian Brahmin of unknown origin born in Ceylon and there is no known classification for this marital match of which I am supposed to be the only male offspring. Secondly I consider my self a Ceylonese and Sri Lankan and thirdly the word race should be used only in combination with the word Human ( according to my English Teachers ) and I wouldn't want to pay the price of insulting the other species on this planet that we of the human race have inflicted so much of damage upon by flashing an ID badge that says so.
This perception should come in useful in following a more relevant direction in the sequencing of my book The Other Side of The Coin, helping the structure and possibly setting the tone for interesting reading but ensuring historical accuracy whilst at the same time leaving for unbridled imagination to distort the truth to add the necessary flavoring that I feel should be the essence of a book. It also may serve as a point of reference for those who never witnessed the events of the last thirty years and I hope the perception I have identified and justified which I intend to use will suffice.
What does this all mean in terms of the new generation and the Sinhabahu Metaphor to me ??? I always related to persons with whom there was a substantial age disparity plus or minus. I have always been attracted to them than those who are my peers. Their youth and vibrancy and the experiences when the situation reverses is always a source of inspiration and somehow other an encounter with either leaves me with wonder or baffles me. The variety and change you see constantly around them is fascinating to those who take the time to observe. I thrive in their company and find them an irreplaceable high especially when I am interacting with them and it is the only challenge I have had to work on to match on a constant basis. It ensures that I am sure of what I am talking about and I have that ability to learn from these experiences without any insecurities. It is time to use this gift more effectively so that I can be a positive contribution to the younger generation. The need for this is now, more than ever and I am constantly reminded of this daily. It would be the ultimate achievement if I can do that. I saw this ability when I was teaching at the NIBM when the age disparity between me and my students was around 15 years. The subject then was computers my passion at that time. The passion for IT still remains but now there are other varied interests. My experiences and the situations I have seen and been in over the last 15 years or so have left an inedible impression in me and I have changed so much so that at last I can assert with confidence that I have understood my psych and very sure of what I want and need to be. It has now become very difficult for me to enjoy the Company of my peers. I don't know how to relate to them and my efforts are ending up in disheartening failures . My level of interaction with them has deteriorated and I am now aware of the changes I will have to make to regain that. Unfortunately I do not consider that a priority anymore. I am more at home with the present generation and more in tune with them to relate and comprehend the issues facing them to be of meaningful assistance and significance in their lives. I still think in a fashion that can quickly adapt to this. This opportunity may not present itself again. I am myself am at a cross road trying to find a meaningful existence to fulfill my aspirations of living a life that I can be proud of whenever my time to leave arrives. I think a merging of these two would be a wonderful way for me to thank who or what ever that ensured I survived so long and lived to talk and write about it.
There is a yearning in me to leave a legacy apart from my reputation that has aspects that I can be proud of and strengths that I have developed which are now evident to me, but this reputation has also much to be ashamed of. My friend has rekindled the natural talent and goodness I have always had but rarely exposed or felt a need to do so. I like this feeling in me and she is responding to it giving me a sense of fulfillment after such a long time of at best a mediocre existence. I know I can satisfy so many aspects of her life and I am mature enough to ensure that she has enough space to develop her own identity and unique personality, the potential which I identified and responded to when I first spoke to her. My writing will now take on a more purposeful direction as it will now not only have a have a trusted feedback but maybe of use in a broader sense. I don't know how many can claim this privilege !!!!
So today’s posting hopefully sets the tone for a solid foundation to ensure that I write and of course set the platform for sharing perceptions and lessons that may come in handy and hopefully set the basis for, who knows ????? She has put it so succinctly in one of our chats. Be prepared for the unexpected.!!!!
My life has been most definitely greatly and positively impacted over the last 29 odd days and our age disparity makes our relationship insane, to your average Joe. However it has meant more than any I have had as I don't seem to be able to find an obvious comparison off hand. It has been the highlight of my existence thus far and I know that I have made an impression in her life. We have been sharing thoughts and experiences and always try to find something interesting, new or controversial every time we communicate. But to the point now!
I had glanced through an article titled THE SINHABAHU METAPHOR. My cursory glance came useful for a previous posting but I had noted that I needed to read the article today and did so. The Author had written about a Sinhala king who was the Great Grandfather of the Sinhala people and uses the story as a metaphor in his analysis of the present situation in the middle east and what lessons the present rulers of Sri Lanka should keep in mind if they don't want to end up the same way! He ends that there will be a generation that has not lived under the tragedy of the last 30 years and will not care or remember about the history of the violent conflicts this country has witnessed from both sides of the divide over four decades. But they will demand justice and fair play so that their aspirations can be fulfilled. This set me thinking. My new interest does not know of the 83 riots. She is the new generation who has not seen the civil conflict of the past 30 years intimately enough to get a proper perspective , she wasn't even born during the equally bloody JVP uprising of 88, she doesn't have a clue as to how Sirimavo and Felix Dias monkeyed with the Constitution, the legal system and systematically destroyed the civil service and politicized the establishment. She doesn't yet fully grasp the subtle repressive methods that are insidiously evolving today. What she has seen is the endemic corruption so widely prevalent in the social fabric and its effect. It has yet to have a major impact on her life , but I sensed the unease already fermenting in her mind when she asked me this morning, when will a middle east happen in Sri Lanka ? At her age she should be contemplating matters regarding a bright future instead of entertaining thoughts of a bloody uprising . She is already maturing rapidly and questioning issues that she feels are contrary to her own core beliefs. Maybe the new generation is already here ? It's seems to have already started asking, at least she has !
I have over the last 40 years witnessed the major upheavals and changes of the transformation of the so called pearl of the Indian Ocean Ceylon to the ravaged mess that Sri Lanka is today. I had enjoyed ignorant bliss from the age of about the age of 6, ( 1964 )from when I can recollect instances of my life with a fair degree of accuracy. This ignorance ,with some exceptions, lasted till 1971 when I first heard about the JVP, and was warned solemnly that if anybody mentioned 5 classes to run a mile and tell the nearest cop. From 1972 onwards I slowly learned that the brand of Socialism that was practiced in Sri Lanka was as usual the worst form which is a typically Sri Lankan trait. But even that didn't have much of an impact on my life. By this time I started understanding Carl Marx and Engels and the so called virtues of the Socialistic System against the big bad Capitalistic fellows. Of course the proponents of this point of view got buggered when they witnessed like I did how Comrades Peter's and NM's betrayal not only screwed the working class but also got them thrown out of the UF government of our Ma Baker. I was impressed with the dexterity of Comrade Vasu the great Survivor who ensured that he was at all times on the right side of the divide while at the same time supporting two diametrically opposing positions. I also learned that in Socialism there is a distinction between different Socialists, some were more socialist than others and the misfits who couldn't be classified ended up dead. Somewhere during this time I called myself a Marxist and I impressed all the suckers I could find with my eloquent style and impeccable command of the English Language and the art of speaking ,( Thanks to Daphne Lords School of Speech and Drama ) and the use of terminology I didn't quite understand then and to be quite honest don’t understand even now! Everybody fell for it. I was no bloody revolutionary but liked to be different because it impressed the girls !
In spite of all this I have of course learned some valuable lessons from associating with the Ceylon Mercantile Union and Mr. Bala Tampoe who was one of the influential persons in molding a lot of my thinking and directly responsible for my acquiring some the attributes I still believe in today. I had a lot of exposure to situations early on in my life which played an important role and the collective was responsible for establishing strong values and principals that I still hold dearly. While still a student I used to actively participate with my child hood buddy in the political process that taught me a lot and the the subject of civics introduced to me in school was seen in practice. It was an interesting period and I think the 1977 general election when I first cast my vote was probably the most free and fair that I witnessed.
After 1977 I spent frequent spells abroad and had traveled widely but coincidentally been back home during crucial periods of it's history which I believe have given me a perspective, by the criteria I classify myself, which would make it unique. Firstly though I am technically identified as a Tamil in all my statutory documents, I am not ! I am a desended of an Indian Malayali Brahmin mixed with a second generation Indian Brahmin of unknown origin born in Ceylon and there is no known classification for this marital match of which I am supposed to be the only male offspring. Secondly I consider my self a Ceylonese and Sri Lankan and thirdly the word race should be used only in combination with the word Human ( according to my English Teachers ) and I wouldn't want to pay the price of insulting the other species on this planet that we of the human race have inflicted so much of damage upon by flashing an ID badge that says so.
This perception should come in useful in following a more relevant direction in the sequencing of my book The Other Side of The Coin, helping the structure and possibly setting the tone for interesting reading but ensuring historical accuracy whilst at the same time leaving for unbridled imagination to distort the truth to add the necessary flavoring that I feel should be the essence of a book. It also may serve as a point of reference for those who never witnessed the events of the last thirty years and I hope the perception I have identified and justified which I intend to use will suffice.
What does this all mean in terms of the new generation and the Sinhabahu Metaphor to me ??? I always related to persons with whom there was a substantial age disparity plus or minus. I have always been attracted to them than those who are my peers. Their youth and vibrancy and the experiences when the situation reverses is always a source of inspiration and somehow other an encounter with either leaves me with wonder or baffles me. The variety and change you see constantly around them is fascinating to those who take the time to observe. I thrive in their company and find them an irreplaceable high especially when I am interacting with them and it is the only challenge I have had to work on to match on a constant basis. It ensures that I am sure of what I am talking about and I have that ability to learn from these experiences without any insecurities. It is time to use this gift more effectively so that I can be a positive contribution to the younger generation. The need for this is now, more than ever and I am constantly reminded of this daily. It would be the ultimate achievement if I can do that. I saw this ability when I was teaching at the NIBM when the age disparity between me and my students was around 15 years. The subject then was computers my passion at that time. The passion for IT still remains but now there are other varied interests. My experiences and the situations I have seen and been in over the last 15 years or so have left an inedible impression in me and I have changed so much so that at last I can assert with confidence that I have understood my psych and very sure of what I want and need to be. It has now become very difficult for me to enjoy the Company of my peers. I don't know how to relate to them and my efforts are ending up in disheartening failures . My level of interaction with them has deteriorated and I am now aware of the changes I will have to make to regain that. Unfortunately I do not consider that a priority anymore. I am more at home with the present generation and more in tune with them to relate and comprehend the issues facing them to be of meaningful assistance and significance in their lives. I still think in a fashion that can quickly adapt to this. This opportunity may not present itself again. I am myself am at a cross road trying to find a meaningful existence to fulfill my aspirations of living a life that I can be proud of whenever my time to leave arrives. I think a merging of these two would be a wonderful way for me to thank who or what ever that ensured I survived so long and lived to talk and write about it.
There is a yearning in me to leave a legacy apart from my reputation that has aspects that I can be proud of and strengths that I have developed which are now evident to me, but this reputation has also much to be ashamed of. My friend has rekindled the natural talent and goodness I have always had but rarely exposed or felt a need to do so. I like this feeling in me and she is responding to it giving me a sense of fulfillment after such a long time of at best a mediocre existence. I know I can satisfy so many aspects of her life and I am mature enough to ensure that she has enough space to develop her own identity and unique personality, the potential which I identified and responded to when I first spoke to her. My writing will now take on a more purposeful direction as it will now not only have a have a trusted feedback but maybe of use in a broader sense. I don't know how many can claim this privilege !!!!
So today’s posting hopefully sets the tone for a solid foundation to ensure that I write and of course set the platform for sharing perceptions and lessons that may come in handy and hopefully set the basis for, who knows ????? She has put it so succinctly in one of our chats. Be prepared for the unexpected.!!!!
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