THE TOURIST AND I.

While I was walking on the beach last morning I bumped into to a Tourist and wished her good morning. She responded and I sensed she wouldn’t mind some company and we both ambled along in the same direction. I was on my mobile with my Seredipity and we were talking about a posting I had made in my Blog. When I finished my call I noticed that the tourist had been listening to my conversation. She introduced herself to me, I responded.

We exchanged formalities and started talking about this, that and the other. She wanted to know if I was a writer and I told her I do write but I still don’t consider myself one yet. She wanted to know about me and what I was doing in this part of the country, so I asked to visit my blog which is self-explanatory. She was curious and invited me for breakfast at her hotel. I accepted gladly.

We got our self a table for two and ordered baked beans, sausages and fried eggs, sunny side up, accompanied with fresh bread rolls and butter. It had been a while since I had a breakfast like this. The conversation was lively ranging from politics to polemics and we finally ended up by exchanging email addresses and agreed to keep in touch. She was leaving back to the United Kingdom that afternoon and she promised she would check my blog and as requested by me comment. We ordered coffee and indulged in idle conversation.

I could feel a funny feeling developing in me and I was squirming trying to figure out how I could make a dignified hasty exit when I farted one of those small prerrrps. These fuckers are in the frequency range that can be picked up by anybody a few yards away from you!!! They are very unpredictable and no one can guess when the next one is due. All I know is once they start they don’t stop. They are very difficult to conceal and I was trying to raise my voice to muffle them with very little success.

I knew she was aware that I was farting and I must give her credit for ignoring it and continuing with our conversation. The problem with this type of fart is that going to the toilet doesn’t solve anything. You don’t shit and they continue.

So I tried to predict them whenever I could and raise my voice a few decibels and it was embarrassing!! I was sure that the guests close to us were aware of this. This went on for about ten minutes and I was thinking to myself “To hell with this I am walking out", when there was this humongous trumpet like sound coming from my friend the tourist. There was pin drop silence all around us!!!!

Both of us looked at each other called for the bill, she signed it and we very casually held hands and walked out of the restaurant and set off to the beach accompanied by prerrrps all the way. We collapsed on the sand and burst out laughing as I told her I am posting this for sure. Her reply, “please do and you can bet your ass I will comment!!!!”